Do we know what we are asking? (Part 2)

Backing up.  I’d been home a little longer than a few weeks, was overall pretty happy, life was good and joy was easy!  (I say easy because I believe sometimes joy just comes and other times joy is a choice…this was a time where joy just happened naturally…it was easy.)

Now looking back, my world literally changed within days of saying, “Yes Lord, heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen.” God wasted no time in revealing to me what these words really meant, not just in theory, but in actuality.

These words sound or should I say sounded refreshing to me, simple enough, but in reality they are quite the opposite.  Yes, the end result may be refreshing, however there is a process to everything.  First we must see the unseen things hidden away in our hearts and then they need to be cleaned out.  When we have judgment, bitterness, lust, greed, etc, etc in our hearts, it does not simply just disappear.

Have you ever had a splinter or a piece of glass in your foot?  Think of how it feels trying to get it out, positioning it to come out…doesn’t feel good, does it?  No!  But then it comes out and it’s smooth, you can’t feel the jagged edge, and still yet it takes a bit to completely heal.  And so I believe to be the same, the process of God making the unseen seen and the unclean clean.

But the song does not end there; it goes on to say, “Show me how to love like you have loved me…Break my heart for what breaks yours.”  This is where truth really hit me.  If our hearts are full of crap, sin, whatever you want to call it, how can we love like Him?  What I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me was, “Taryn, you are asking me to show you how to love like I do, but there is a point where to draw closer, more things need to be cleared out of the way.”  And then I was blown away even more, in beautiful harmony the congregation continued, “Break my heart for what breaks yours.” I could have almost fallen to my knees in weakness with the weight these words had at that moment and will forever have to me.

Revelation continued to flow from the Holy Spirit.  It not only breaks God’s heart to see orphans, widows and the poor, but it equally breaks His heart to see His people burdened with judgment, pride, lust, self-reliance, etc, etc.  If we are walking around with this stuff clouding our vision, how could we see a homeless person or a widow in need?  Why do we always think it’s everyone else’s messed up life that breaks His heart when we have plenty of crap in ourselves that break His heart?

Paragraph by paragraph could go on explaining the depth of this song, but for now I will rest in these truths.  In the truth that I must realize what I speak, what I sing over myself and others and the weight words carry.  I will seek to hear God’s spin on things over my spin.  But above all this, I will know His character, that He never changes and that every season He takes us through is for our great purpose, which ultimately is for HIS  greater purpose. This is not another “Christianese” statement, but rather words that bring an overwhelming covering of love to my soul…God is good…He is soooo good!

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